


remember me, remember us

by jjayseungs



Series: for yeonkai [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Amnesiac!Yeonjun, Angst, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28869273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjayseungs/pseuds/jjayseungs
Summary: tears falling from his eyes are like shooting stars: each of them carries a hopeful wish for a better tomorrow.
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Huening Kai
Series: for yeonkai [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120403
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	remember me, remember us

**Author's Note:**

> now playing: [your eyes tell - bts ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3if7K38xD40)
> 
> i hope you will enjoy reading this story. thank you.

"Huening, how can you do it?" 

Taken aback by the sudden question, Hueningkai stops sipping the hot chocolate made by the elder. He gazes at the other, and those eyes are looking at him with the utmost confusion. Hueningkai wonders why his heart is suddenly thrumming rapidly against his ribcage. He questions the trails of invisible blood from his chest. 

Gulping the bile in his throat, Hueningkai remains aloof. "What do you mean, hyung?"

There is a moment of silence between them, and Hueningkai can only hear the sound of glass breaking faintly. Maybe it is the sound of his fragile heart-shattering after all. 

"How can you still love me even when I could not remember you tomorrow?"

_That_ is something Hueningkai can never explain through words.

Yeonjun smells like those blooming, magnificent red rose in their garden. His wonderful scent calms the turmoil in Hueningkai's heart; cooling down the sudden fire from burning his body into embers. The elder's hands are rather cold on a spring night, and Huening connects their world; his warm ones against Yeonjun's frozen ones. 

Somehow, the stars are dancing with the thin clouds while the moon is smiling down at them. He feels lonely: a small hole is forming in his chest, and at one point, it increases in diameter. Hueningkai tries to remember only the beautiful times, but he cannot lie to himself. As much as he loves Yeonjun, their feelings are mutual only for a day. It is their only guarantee; 24 hours is the only time they can be in love.

He gazes at the elder who is resting his head on Hueningkai's shoulder. He smiles because it is the only thing he can do now when the time is not on their side. "I love you, hyung. There is nothing special about it. My heart wants to continue loving you,"  _Even if you cannot remember me_ , Hueningkai intends to continue, but stops before more hearts can break.

"Even when I woke up the next day and have zero recollection of you?" Yeonjun asks. His voice sounds desperate and raspy. His eyes are restless as he waits for Hueningkai's answer.

For a moment, a tide is washing the shore of his heart, and Hueningkai is nauseous. He inhales the cold air into his flaming lungs and smile. Without realizing, he is already in tears. His lips are tightly closed, and he can only nod. He cannot find his voice to muster a reply.

If only Yeonjun knows the struggle to wake up every day and leave notes everywhere, in hopes the elder will remember a fragment of him: it would be nice. 

But often, Yeonjun does not remember anything. He wakes up every day to a new world, and Hueningkai wakes up to the same universe every day. He feels lonely, and he feels guilty sleeping next to Yeonjun that chases him away from their apartment every morning. The terror and shock in Yeonjun's eyes hurt him every time, but Hueningkai accepts them all. Because he loves Yeonjun, and often, love makes you blind.

"Huening-ah," Yeonjun calls and Hueningkai loves the sound of his name on the elder's lips. "You can let me go if it is too much to bear. I will understand," 

Sooner or later, Hueningkai knows this moment will come knocking at their door. But for him, it is still too early to give up. Even if it hurts, but Hueningkai is never ready to bid his goodbyes. Yeonjun is always the wiser one between them, but Hueningkai despises the elder for that reason. He hates how the elder makes him contemplate when his heart already knows the answer.

He exhales a breath, "It is not going to be easy, hyung."

"Why?" Yeonjun asks again. This time, the fear in the elder's eyes are turning into hopelessness. Hueningkai wishes that he did not see that.

"There is no specific answer, Yeonjun-hyung," He pauses, glancing at the stares and hoping to find strength. "My heart  _wants_ this," 

Hueningkai fixes the arms wrapping around Yeonjun's waist, and the elder repositions his head on his shoulder. This moment feels so right, and a part of Hueningkai wants to remember this forever. Hueningkai is a coward: loving Yeonjun hurts him, but he is unwilling to let go. He is not ready to let go.

Yeonjun plays with his fingers, and every touch that lands on his skin leaves a trail of forgetful yesterdays and hopeless tomorrows. Yeonjun's habit will never die, and Hueningkai wants to cry out loud. When the sun rises, Yeonjun will not remember him, and Hueningkai needs to live with the memories of their yesterdays  _alone_ . Today is a present that Hueningkai does not want to have, and yesterday is a curse that he has to remember forever.

The elder looks up, and those doe-like eyes are piercing right into Hueningkai's lonely and hopeless soul. He finds himself falling into a trance again. Whenever their eyes met, Yeonjun absent-mindedly casts him under a magic spell, and Hueningkai falls harder into the abyss. 

"I'm sorry. For not remembering you," Yeonjun says. His voice is softer now, and tired. Yeonjun is hurting too. Their emotions are even after all.

Hueningkai wishes that Yeonjun will not mention anything about it, at least for tonight. Everything was going so perfectly well; waking up this morning to Yeonjun remembering who he is, to Yeonjun making his favourite breakfast meal, and Yeonjun who kisses him on the lips as soon as he came out from the shower. It was as if Yeonjun is not amnesiac, as if Yeonjun is the old Choi Yeonjun he met five years ago before the fatal accident took his memories away. It was too perfect, and Hueningkai wants perfection to remain until he closes his eyes for the day.

But this sweet Choi Yeonjun, the selfless Choi Yeonjun, only thinks about Hueningkai and not himself. And for that, it hurts even more.

He swallows the bitter lump in his throat as he croaks a reply, "It is okay, Yeonjun-hyung." He smiles, and continues, "At least you remembered me today,"

"I read all the notes as soon as I woke up," Yeonjun replies. "When I woke up, and I saw you, I felt funny. I wanted to curse at you, but you were so beautiful. I could not. I saw the notes and read them," Yeonjun stops for a brief. He turns his body to Hueningkai and laces their fingers together. "Then, my heart somehow... _exploded_. I could not believe that my boyfriend is so angelic. What did I do in my past life to have you?"

He chuckles in delight, and it is a foreign feeling in his heart. Regardless, Hueningkai enjoys them. "Really? I think I am the lucky one to have you, hyung."

Yeonjun hits his chest, and Hueningkai witnesses the crimson glowing on the elder's cheeks. The wound in his heart is healing. "Why are you so cheesy, Huening-ah?" 

Yeonjun's melodic laughter fills the night with vibrant colours.  _This moment feels nice_ . He wants this day to last for eternity.

Hueningkai pecks the elder on the lips, and the laughter dies down immediately. The elder hides his face with his jumper paws, and Hueningkai coos chirpily. He gently pulls the elder closer to him again and engulfs Yeonjun in a hug.

"This is why I cannot let you go, Yeonjun-hyung," He whispers, "I love you too much. I will die if you are not by my side,"

He feels the elder wraps his hands around Hueningkai's waist too. "I love you too, Huening-ah," Yeonjun replies, and Hueningkai knows the elder is already crying. "My selfless Hueningkai, I love you too." 

Warmth is spreading all over his body, and the storm in his heart is now disappearing. Hueningkai believes his love for the elder can withstand anything in their way. 

"I know my brain cannot remember you, but my heart does," Yeonjun pulls away from the hug. He takes Hueningkai's hands and places them on his heart. "Here, I will always remember you. My body remembers you, and I hope it is enough for you to believe in my love, Huening-ah."

The stars are exploding behind Yeonjun, flares of colourful lights enhance the elder's beauty to the maximum. Hueningkai's breath is hitching, and for the nth time, he is  _in love_ .

Hueningkai embraces the elder again, ardently, and inhales the calming scent of roses coming from Yeonjun's body. Tears falling from his eyes are like shooting stars: each of them carries a hopeful wish for a better tomorrow.

"I will remember them for you, hyung." He vows, "I will remember our yesterdays, and you will look forward to our tomorrows."

He feels Yeonjun nodding his head, and Hueningkai can only muster a thankful smile.

And when Yeonjun sweetly utters, "Thank you for loving me, Huening-ah," the previous darkening world is shining bright again. 

Because in this life, Hueningkai will always love Yeonjun. Will forever have, and always will.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this humble piece of mine. do comment down below if you have any thoughts about this story. thanks again! take care, and stay safe. 
> 
> best regards. x


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